Gazes Through Winter

Anonymous asked: You're sexy, lets get married :)

ahh.. how bout we start with “hi”? lol

You know what? i think it’s time for this
I’m so fucking fed up with everyone giving me shit and being down all the time themselves.

Try to see the other end of things, the fact is nothing lasts forever including the way you may feel, i know it may feel like that at the moment but i promise you. IT WONT.

And don’t you get that in the end making shit up about someone doesn’t make you look any better?
Here’s a little piece about me before i became a supposed bitch, snob etc.. for you who seem to be saying these things.

I know it’s really easy for me to say these things like “everything’ll be OK” i’ve
been told that too, and sometimes it gets worse, but at some point it will get better..
I’ve been to hell and back,
When i went to high school i was physically bullied on a day to day basis. why?
“cause i was easy and it was fun too” that’s why.. cause i was always the outcast, the little girl who never had her uniform creased or crinkled, hair always neatly tied back and never spoke unless spoken to.
which is probably why im such a strong believer in standing up for an opinion now

I feared everyday of my life, even hated going home.. my grandfather was battling
cancer, twice over a period of 3years.
Parents would be arguing every minute of every day and the only person i could talk to was the dog.
Even got to the point where i’d be sent home from falling asleep in class from the lack of sleep i’d get at home because i’d be kept awake from either the fear of the following day of school, my grandfather crying out in pain, my mother sobbing over my grandfather, or my parents going for round 2 of who can yell the loudest.

This went on for about 18 months till my grandfather passed away and my parents got divorced.. then my world collapsed, i stopped going to school, i stopped talking to everyone, i wouldn’t talk to family, therapists, no-one. This went for about 1 year i would rarely leave the house unless i had to, wouldn’t talk.. i was pretty much none existent. it just got worse and worse from there, i started contemplating suicide, even worked out how i’d do it and wrote out the letter i’d leave..
This Is One Of The Most Selfish Things Anyone Can Ever Do!

But when the time came i did chicken out cause fear took hold and i was even more depressed, but after that decided to actually live my life.

Even from this day i live by a saying, to “Never Give In”
I even have it tattoo’d as a reminder as in HEY! I’m here! i made it! and i cant say i relate to what everyone’s going through, but I’m here to show you that no matter how bad a situation is, stick in it and you’ll get through!!
Truth be told i actually ran into the kids who made my life hell and they had no idea who i was until i said so. Yeah, they may have their high school education but they are still the same childish, insecure people they were when we were in school and i know i came out better.

Listen, remember this, the problems and situations (good or bad) you’ve fought
through or maybe fighting through now, it’s these that make you into the incredible
Person you are today. Never Give In, Never Lose Hope <3